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Jesus
Is So Good
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| I was a young boy when my parents and family began studying
with Jehovah's Witnesses. It all started when my cousin's music teacher (who
was a Witness) began studying with him. My cousin was about 13 years old when
he began "studying." Needless to say, it upset my family very much.
But within a matter of months after starting to study with his music teacher,
my cousin had given up birthdays as well as regular association with other
boys of his age. Eventually, my cousin did learn to
play the guitar and he began indoctrinating all of the family with JW doctrine.
I had been raised from childhood as a Catholic, so when we started studying JW
teachings, I would pray that the Lord would show me if the JW doctrines were
wrong, or if they were against the Catholic religion. Because I had no real
knowledge of the Bible, the JW religion appeared very good. The dedication of
Witnesses was also appealing. It seemed like they were always attending
meetings, knocking on doors, and telling people about their beliefs. In fact,
during my teen years, the religion actually seemed pretty exciting. I continued studying with the
Jehovah's Witnesses. By the time I was 18, I met a young girl. We fell in love,
and were married in the Catholic Church. I remember asking my uncle, who was a Catholic
priest at the time, what he thought of Jehovah's Witnesses. He simply said I
shouldn't go running after them. That was the only advice I was given about
Jehovah's Witnesses, and it really just made the religion seem that much more
appealing. In 1959, my wife and I had our
first child, a girl. At that time, we were told by JWs that our little girl
would never see kindergarten because of Armageddon, which was supposedly just a
few years away. I remember sitting with the music teacher who had taught my
cousin, and he assured us that the generation we were living in would not pass
before Armageddon occurred. In fact, he insisted that according to calculations
made by the Watchtower Society, Armageddon would come no later than 1984. (Here
we are 15 years later!) We continued to have more kids,
and by 1961 we had three small children. This was an extremely difficult time
for my wife and I because our children were in school. It was difficult because
I worked with children at the time, and I was really uncomfortable with the
message we-as good JW parents- were supposed to give our own children regarding
school. We were supposed to tell our kids that they would be going to school
with other kids who saluted a pagan image, that they would be surrounded by pagan
people, and that the school they attended was a pagan place. I used to think to
myself, "What a way to start life; what a way for a young child to be
brought into a society; what a way to take a childhood away from a child."
I had a hard time understanding how anyone could make a child become an adult
so soon. It really bothered me. During this time, I began to feel
depressed. I was starting to have feelings of gloom and condemnation without
any hope. Yet, the Society was teaching us that we should be happy because we
had the "truth." However, I was really having a difficult time. I was
trying to support my family, make five meetings a week, go out in service, and
follow up with back calls. I felt myself slowly slipping into this maze of depression,
and I was getting weaker and weaker emotionally. By the time I was 24 years old, I
was eaten up with guilt. I just couldn't keep up with all of the
responsibilities being heaped on me by the Society. But there was no way I
could take a break on a weekend. I felt I had to go out in field service.
Eventually, I found myself unable to even get out of bed. I became fanatical
about many of the Society's teachings, and I began to view everything with a
cynical attitude, especially the government. Nothing seemed to satisfy me. I eventually began to see a
psychiatrist. I remember something he once said to me. He said, "Every
time holidays come around, you seem to feel so horrible, almost to the point of
being clinically depressed. Can't you see what's happening to you." I
quickly responded, "Don't you talk about Jehovah's Witnesses, it has
nothing to do with them. I don't know what it is, but I know it has nothing to
do with them!" I began praying that Jehovah would
show me the truth, that he would reveal what was wrong. I couldn't understand
why I wasn't happy like the rest of the Jehovah's Witnesses I knew. (I
would later realize that the Witnesses around me were not happy.) As I
continued to pray that Jehovah would show me the truth, things began to happen.
One of the first things I noticed was how the elders appeared to be so
self-righteous. Then I looked around. I saw Witnesses brag about the hours they
spent in field service, then watched those same Witnesses put others down who
weren't able to spend time in service. I also began to notice how Witnesses
frequently referred to other Witnesses as "worldly." As I saw this
happening, I was devastated. But I remember saying to myself, "Where can I
go if this isn't Jehovah's organization?" Still, I couldn't understand how
someone could be called worldly just because they smoked cigarettes or dressed
differently. I was seeing so many things, and I know now that it was Jesus
exposing Jehovah's Witnesses and their teachings. My wife was slipping into a state
of depression. We eventually sold our home and moved into a smaller one. After
we had moved, however, I stepped back and asked myself "Why did I do
this?" It was at this point that my wife and I began talking about what
was happening to us. Was it the Organization, or were we just weird people. My
wife finally concluded she couldn't handle it anymore, and that was when I
began to read my Bible. The Lord had miraculously put a burning desire in me to
read his Word. I stopped attending all meetings and sat down every night
(sometimes until 3 or 4 a.m.) to read the Bible. I remember saying to my
friends and the elders at the Kingdom Hall, "I will not go to another
meeting until I read the New Testament." I started reading Matthew, Mark,
Luke, and John. By the time I got to John, however, I was crying my eyes out. I
remember reading Jesus' words, "Unless a man is born again he will not see
the kingdom." At first, I didn't understand what he meant by this
statement, but as I read it, he opened up my eyes. I began to understand what
it meant. It meant Jesus is Lord; Jesus is God, and I had to come to him. I
remember getting on my knees and praying, "Forgive me Lord, I didn't know
who you were." Then I asked Jesus into my heart. The next morning, it was as if
someone had taken a weight off of me. I knew I was never going back to the
Kingdom Hall again. Everything around me seemed new-the birds, the color of the
trees, everything around me. This was totally new for me since I previously had
such a negative, cynical outlook on life. But there I was, looking at
everything with a deep gratitude for all that had happened in my life. Today, 20 years later, I am so
grateful for the freedom I have been given from the religious bondage that held
me for 20 years. I am so grateful that the Lord gave us the ultimate gift of
eternal life. I praise his Name for what He as done. My family and children
have now come to know Christ, as well. In fact, we even have a ministry called
"Jesus is the Truth" ministries. We have been fortunate to see so many
Jehovah's Witnesses come to know Jesus Christ. Jesus died because he loves us so much, and all we have to do is receive that gift. It breaks my heart to see people who won't accept His free gift of salvation. It's free. If they would just stop trusting in themselves and trust in Him instead. |